About Doxy : Currently living in my fortress of solitude err I mean awkwardness with penguins and Superman.
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Doxy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 1:26am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
by I hate my job / 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML
by luciazee / 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm / Peru (Lima) / Miscellaneous
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
by fuck wannabe knowitalls / 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
by i'm not psychic, mother fucker / 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy