DoxIxHAVExTo

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Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 8:14am)

DoxIxHAVExTo

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  • Number of visits : 7796
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DoxIxHAVExTo's page activity

Visits<b>chum_mum</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 8:08pm<b>OctoberRainfall</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 11:49am<b>perdix</b> - the 12/21/2011 at 6:43am<b>Jenmic</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 3:26am<b>raphanne</b> - the 11/01/2011 at 1:26pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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DoxIxHAVExTo's favorite FMLs

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

by shots shots shots / 02/12/2013 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

by BadLuckCarson / 02/12/2013 at 12:55am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

by maggu / 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

by must be adopted / 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

by screwed / 02/10/2013 at 5:41am / United States / Work

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

by GarageSallin / 02/07/2013 at 10:24am / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

by bloodyfreakinawful / 12/14/2012 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 3:31am / United States / Health

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids