About DounutCereal : Just an 18 year old guy from South Eastern Australia who reads and moderates FML's.
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DounutCereal's favorite FMLs
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids
by comfort_ / 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Feronia / 03/18/2015 at 9:16am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Kids
Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
by lucas90 / 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML
Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by livingstonjamie / 01/13/2015 at 3:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML
by Synonymous_Rex / 01/05/2015 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML
by thanks a lot mom / 12/28/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML
by GallowsHumor / 09/15/2014 at 4:28pm / Finland / Work
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
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