Doortje

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Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 12:29am)

Doortje

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 27626
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:00pm<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 1:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:15am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:38am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:01am<b>bamfoozled</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:50pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:36pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:19pm<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 3:15pm<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:49am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:03pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:40pm<b>max1280</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Sir_Cow</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:14am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:28am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:15am<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:57pm

Fucked!<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:22am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:12pm<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:23am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:22am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:48pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05am<b>Zebracat</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>16sparklytrees</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:24pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:52am<b>taffyluvr226</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:09pm

Doortje's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

by ooblie / 12/08/2010 at 3:22am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Health

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

by bleh / 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 9:49am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

by pst / 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

by neverdateaclosetcase / 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy