Doortje

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Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 12:29am)

Doortje

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 27638
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:00pm<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 1:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:15am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:38am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:01am<b>bamfoozled</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:50pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:36pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:19pm<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 3:15pm<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:49am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:03pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:40pm<b>max1280</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Sir_Cow</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:14am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:28am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:15am<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:57pm

Fucked!<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:22am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:12pm<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:23am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:22am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:48pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05am<b>Zebracat</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>16sparklytrees</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:24pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:52am<b>taffyluvr226</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:09pm

Doortje's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

by katie / 05/25/2011 at 4:23am / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

by Fatty / 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

by weirdome23 / 04/26/2011 at 5:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

by weirdome23 / 04/26/2011 at 5:45am / United States / Miscellaneous