Doortje

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Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 12:29am)

Doortje

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 27619
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:00pm<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 1:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:15am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:38am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:01am<b>bamfoozled</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:50pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:36pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:19pm<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 3:15pm<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:49am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:03pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:40pm<b>max1280</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Sir_Cow</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:14am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:28am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:15am<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:57pm

Fucked!<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:22am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:12pm<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:23am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:22am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:48pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05am<b>Zebracat</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>16sparklytrees</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:24pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:52am<b>taffyluvr226</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:09pm

Doortje's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

by Dutchee / 01/23/2012 at 6:27am / Netherlands (Friesland) / Health

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

by tommyboy783 / 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

by Hoggiebear / 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy