Doortje

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Offline (the 09/14/2016 at 4:54pm)

Doortje

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 31090
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Dun dun dun

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - 6 hours ago<b>sycrah</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 3:12am<b>Oihana</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 4:31pm<b>grammarsnail</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 11:14pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:26pm<b>gar2014</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:06am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 6:11am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:13pm<b>RectumRecker</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:34pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 10:40am<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 3:05pm<b>CBL88</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 9:56am<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 4:57am<b>__doge__</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:49am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 1:52pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 6:40am<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:19pm

Fucked!<b>sycrah</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 9:13am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:19pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:53pm<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:06pm<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:22am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:12pm<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:23am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:22am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:48pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05am<b>Zebracat</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>16sparklytrees</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:24pm

Doortje's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

by itsellie27 / 08/30/2013 at 10:44am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy