Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DontClickOnMe

Online | Search for a member

DontClickOnMe

34Fucked!

DontClickOnMeDontClickOnMe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8170
  • Number of comments : 297
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>_Could_Be_Worse</b> - 7 hours ago<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:34pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:37am<b>AdrianFoo21</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:58am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:09am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:03am<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:06pm<b>GGregoire</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>nealdown</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:20pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:37pm<b>sonicboom9876</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:53am<b>SUPERsassy11783</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:07am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:29am<b>roman11</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:41am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:38pm<b>feven</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:43pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:29pm

Fucked!<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:37pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:49pm<b>lamyakh</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:45pm<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:51pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:30am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:28pm<b>FlapJack1357</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:36pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:29pm<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:12am<b>randomname42</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:51am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:28pm<b>stacey2570</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:25am<b>Goddamnit6969</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:21am

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (6404)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (3429)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51248) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35729) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50436) - you deserved it (4753)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (35170)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (1958)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (1551)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (1696)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (1971)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: