Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Donat96

Offline (the 02/18/2015 at 4:37am) | Search for a member

Donat96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3987
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Donat96 : Message me!

Donat96's page activity

Visits<b>thebrainiac</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:06pm<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:03am<b>xninix</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:11am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:59pm<b>devo_shaw</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:39pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:21pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:31pm<b>dingostacy</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:43pm<b>CassSomething</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:55pm<b>commentgirl</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:43pm<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:14pm<b>Air_2000</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:00pm<b>yunknow</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 6:29am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:22pm<b>foreveryoursbabe</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:17pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Cad6</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 6:19pm

Donat96's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Donat96's badges

Donat96's favorite FMLs

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (5537)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2320)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6600) - you deserved it (28471)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (16194)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (9036)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (3020)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (1482)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25149) - you deserved it (3440)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (25366)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (32673)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (4248)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (5670)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6014) - you deserved it (49041)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: