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Offline (the 07/12/2015 at 10:14am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 June 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Dlzq : Hey,
15 y/o kid.
I'm just here to have a laugh once in a while. If you want, just hmu, I love talking to new people.

Dlzq's page activity

Visits<b>prezkal</b> - yesterday at 12:05am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 9:19am<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:01pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 9:33pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:10pm<b>JustMe1600</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:41pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>callabos921</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ajahchenae</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:54pm<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:04am<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:39am<b>MelodySackett123</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:56am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:30am<b>vptyyppi1</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:59pm<b>chips0843</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:14am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:55pm<b>brookiee527</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:03am<b>koolboi69</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:23am

Fucked!<b>JustMe1600</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:42am<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:04am<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:39am<b>MelodySackett123</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:56pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:55am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:32am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:16am<b>DejaRenee</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>manlove38</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Psycho_Girl1</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 1:27pm<b>brookiee527</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:17am<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:35pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:10am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:16pm<b>dfill</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:15am

Dlzq's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Dlzq's badges

Dlzq's favorite FMLs

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (5499)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (2558)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16111) - you deserved it (19353)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38697) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (4072)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML


Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (17289)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34127) - you deserved it (2626)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38949) - you deserved it (4943)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (4203)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48625) - you deserved it (11906)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (5829)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (3249)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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