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Dixbfloppin

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Dixbfloppin
  • Town/Country : Go away, freak.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 818
  • Number of comments : 284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dixbfloppin : "I am The Destroyer. I destroy things."

-The Destroyer

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Dixbfloppin's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Dixbfloppin's favorite FMLs

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18013) - you deserved it (1245)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (3430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (6762)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15920) - you deserved it (1676)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27006) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3587)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27570) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14748) - you deserved it (31700)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (3433)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (22472)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4783) - you deserved it (33240)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (1792)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)



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