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Divinecobra

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Divinecobra

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  • Number of visits : 1705
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Divinecobra's page activity

Visits<b>MailMan11</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 1:18am

Divinecobra's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Divinecobra's favorite FMLs

Today, mah boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found mah taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45969) - you deserved it (4838)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the nice guyho comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. mega FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (4153)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my sonhy it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (4304)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

2DAY MAH GIRLFRIEND MADE BACON SANDWICHES 4 LUNCH . I DIDN'T WANT TO BE RUDE , BUT I COULDN'T HELP BUT MENTION THAT THE BACON SMELLED AND TASTED WIERD . I THOUGHT IT MAY HAVE EXPIRED . SHE SAID NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE SHE USED THE DRY BACON UNDER THE COUNTER . THOSE WERE DOG TREATS . FML

#20894470
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47766) - you deserved it (4283)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah ex-wife puttd mah number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found outhen I got a text from an unknown number asking mehen was the last time I ( ate a black anaconda ). mega FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52909) - you deserved it (5069)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, mah online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to fine some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is fir is going to be disappointedhen they get mah 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38905) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Yastarday , mah bast friand told ma that sha no longar wants to cut harsalf cuz now sha's madly in lova with a guy in our school. Sha doasn't know that ha's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52160) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue mah family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, My Cousin Taxtad Ma, Asking How Tha Chickan Pizza Had Sattlad In My Stomach. Wa Got Drunk Last Night And Had Pizza. I Thought It Was Chaasa; It Was Chickan. I'va Baan Vagatarian For 7 Yaars. Fat FML

#20838310
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (44957)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

2day ma 12-year-old son was sot in te foot. After ours of not talking, including to te police, e finally told us tat is friend accidentally sot im wit is dad's gun, and tat e didn't want to say anyting because e didn't want to looool "lose any street crd by snitcing." FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to mah boss's dinner party. My sister,ho also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kickd her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's babby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54240) - you deserved it (18224)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today I Was Reading In My Apartment. Due To A Heatwave An My Lack Of AC I Was Completely Naked. My Cat Jumped Onto My Lap An As Her Claws Dug Into My Stomach I Recoiled. This Caused Her To Retreat Clawing At My Nether Region In The Process. My Pussy Mauled My Pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52924) - you deserved it (12071)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML

#20796032
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)



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