Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DistanceRunner94

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

DistanceRunner94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1193
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DistanceRunner94 : I like to run.

DistanceRunner94's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Omer98</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:33am<b>Pwib</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:50am<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:14am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>missnewmomma</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:54pm<b>aaron5121</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:15pm<b>King_paradox</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:41am<b>Lexii6789</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:56am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:07pm

DistanceRunner94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of DistanceRunner94's badges

DistanceRunner94's favorite FMLs

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (1780)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

#21459209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (6984)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:18am - intimacy - by fuck no (woman) - India (Kerala)

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. I can't believe I married this neurotic wreck. FML

#21459202
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (4008)

On 08/22/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (2600)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by yooitscallo (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML

#21459168
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (3017)

On 08/22/2015 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10007) - you deserved it (29742)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (4809)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

#21458446
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (2423)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by fuck you btichass cuntshit (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (4059)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

#21457897
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (2893)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:54am - intimacy - by lonelygal69 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, my mother gave me hell for my "video game addiction". The "game" in question? A professional flight simulator program that I'm using to complement my flight school lessons. FML

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

#21453385
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (1677)

On 08/08/2015 at 2:23am - love - by single (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: