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DistanceRunner94

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DistanceRunner94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1119
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DistanceRunner94 : I like to run.

DistanceRunner94's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Omer98</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:33am<b>Pwib</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:50am<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:14am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>missnewmomma</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:54pm<b>aaron5121</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:15pm<b>King_paradox</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:41am<b>Lexii6789</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:56am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:07pm

DistanceRunner94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of DistanceRunner94's badges

DistanceRunner94's favorite FMLs

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

#21450122
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18597) - you deserved it (1453)

On 07/31/2015 at 5:04pm - love - by single and unbuggered (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12337) - you deserved it (20087)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24532) - you deserved it (2209)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

#21446500
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (1645)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (1563)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (9140)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (2464)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, I woke up and texted my girlfriend, "Good morning" like I do everyday. She responded with, "I'm dating somebody else". FML

Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML

#21440556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (2424)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML



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