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DirectoryBrute

Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 11:10pm) | Search for a member

DirectoryBrute

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 965
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DirectoryBrute : I have social anxiety mixed with a bit of bad luck and social awkwardness, best combo ever.

DirectoryBrute's page activity

Visits<b>Swandive235</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:44pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:18am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:33pm

DirectoryBrute's FML badges

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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DirectoryBrute's favorite FMLs

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (4361)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (5768)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (3727)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (2850)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42895) - you deserved it (3432)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43810) - you deserved it (13386)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51081) - you deserved it (5622)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52877) - you deserved it (8437)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (5058)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9862) - you deserved it (28984)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24504) - you deserved it (7983)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (27932)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

#19654364
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (4472)

On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (5408)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

#19640596
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (2253)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:22am - animals - by nick - United States



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