About DirectoryBrute : I have social anxiety mixed with a bit of bad luck and social awkwardness, best combo ever.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
DirectoryBrute's favorite FMLs
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by anonymous / 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love
by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Love
by thejbarrick50 / 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Health
by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by nick / 05/18/2012 at 3:22am / United States / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…