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Difync's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by BreakingTheMood / 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
by little_star78 / 11/13/2013 at 6:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML
by BagBoy / 11/13/2013 at 1:42am / United States / Work
by icyrebel25 / 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML
by SharkWeek / 10/27/2013 at 11:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML
by picklebug / 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
by Suomynona / 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm / Germany (Hamburg) / Miscellaneous
by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell… Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome… Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every…