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Devyn333's favorite FMLs
Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML
by alekoi / 05/13/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by idiots / 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by lala8940 / 06/28/2012 at 1:20am / United States / Animals
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health
by Nick / 11/27/2009 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Ouchies / 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by mushroommouth / 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super… Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of… Today, I caught my boyfriend staring at my sister through the doorway while we were having sex. FML