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Despereaux

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Despereaux
  • Town/Country : Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, UK
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 618
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Despereaux : My life revolves around reading, music, and love. And I love a good tragedy. Fml is about hilarious suckish times for people. Lets just focus on them, and not start pointless stupid fights with people less intelligent than us, because we sink down to their level of stupidity and they will win for more experience in that area. If anyone needs a booster, ill be here. Ive needed that rock too many times. I needed to grow up, but I'm always here for anyone who needs it. In love with Ed Sheeran, Olly Murs, Parachute, Bastille, Harry Potter (books and movies), superwholock, and pretty much any book. I share this account with 6 of my best friends, so we added things each of us liked here. Xoxo, despereaux.

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Despereaux's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Despereaux's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33647) - you deserved it (4747)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

#21092790
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (3674)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (44823)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (2738)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48611) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40539) - you deserved it (2956)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

#20626478
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (4929)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (27941)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (3460)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (1812)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML

#20569362
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40860) - you deserved it (1896)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (5311)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (34063)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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