Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DerrickJames

Offline (yesterday at 11:21am) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

11Fucked!

DerrickJamesDerrickJames
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2493
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 23-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>burnthistown</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ayesa</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:49pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Adalicious</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:03am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:48am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:59pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:06am<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:49pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:13pm<b>shufflyn</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:34am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:14pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:41pm<b>merin_94</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>lion2294</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:46pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:28pm<b>FloWPs</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:31am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:27am

Fucked!<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:34pm<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:00pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:53pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:21am<b>loveekaytlin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:13am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:53pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:49am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:40am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:13am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:03am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:36pm

DerrickJames's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (187933)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (301318)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14042) - you deserved it (126788)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (157802)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (131395)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52530) - you deserved it (134287)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118823) - you deserved it (275856)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (126051)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
1014 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74043) - you deserved it (760452)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (456593)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you deserved it (154670)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (365906)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: