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DerrickJames

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 9:28am) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

30Fucked!

DerrickJamesDerrickJames
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2849
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 23-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>mimidamian</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:27pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:58am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:58pm<b>tappm98</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:30pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:50pm<b>paytenmarie</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:32pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:32pm<b>stephanieeee95</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:25pm<b>ixyasmine</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:14pm<b>nicolemf4</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:16pm<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:46am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:16am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:09am<b>who_even_cares02</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:17am<b>may14th</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:49am

Fucked!<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:58am<b>mimidamian</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:23am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:17pm<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Lacalema</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:08am<b>madinfinite</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:27pm<b>mollyxrose</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>tanziir1</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:25am<b>kattykat1</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:28pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:53pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:34pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:21pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:57pm<b>KodiG</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:29am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:25am<b>slyfox420</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:20am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:26am<b>sextext</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:31pm

DerrickJames's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (7909)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63291) - you deserved it (4352)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57182) - you deserved it (6603)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53247) - you deserved it (3684)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (6422)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (10073)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (2944)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11558) - you deserved it (195681)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18072) - you deserved it (32475)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6991) - you deserved it (152245)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (252269)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18666) - you deserved it (372793)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (138112)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (529565)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)



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