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DenBriZel

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DenBriZel
  • Town/Country : Longview Washington, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About DenBriZel : Hey my name is Denee!
I'm the proud mother of a beautiful girl, Zelda...I love music! I like anywhere from Bon Jovi and Toby Keith to Skrillex, Pitbull, Adam Lambert, Katy Perry, & even some JB songs. I'm a huge Gamer, all sorts, mostly RPG, FPS, and racing. My favorite series are LoZ, Resident Evil, Uncharted, GTA, COD, Assassins Creed, Need For Speed, Mario. (and I obviously play LOTS of random games too) I have a weird fascination with apocalyptic games....I absolutely LOVE The Walking Dead. Definitely my favorite show! Other shows I love are Glee, The Big Bang Theory, NCIS, The Blacklist, At Midnight, Brooklyn Nine Nine & Dads....I love to longboard! Landyachtz Tomahawk....Sorry it's so long! Just getting out some things I think people should know about me. Anyways, people can follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr. All of my handles are the same @ denbrizel....Thanks for taking the time to stop by and feel free to message me I love talking to new people.

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DenBriZel's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (4555)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

#15621344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (28424)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18707) - you deserved it (21115)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (25757)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14617) - you deserved it (45273)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (4264)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (23957)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (12387)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (7495)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (36428)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (4370)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28206) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28153) - you deserved it (5108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -



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