Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DenBriZel

Search for a member

DenBriZel
  • Town/Country : Longview Washington, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1113
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About DenBriZel : Hey my name is Denee!
I'm the proud mother of a beautiful girl, Zelda...I love music! I like anywhere from Bon Jovi and Toby Keith to Skrillex, Pitbull, Adam Lambert, Katy Perry, & even some JB songs. I'm a huge Gamer, all sorts, mostly RPG, FPS, and racing. My favorite series are LoZ, Resident Evil, Uncharted, GTA, COD, Assassins Creed, Need For Speed, Mario. (and I obviously play LOTS of random games too) I have a weird fascination with apocalyptic games....I absolutely LOVE The Walking Dead. Definitely my favorite show! Other shows I love are Glee, The Big Bang Theory, NCIS, The Blacklist, At Midnight, Brooklyn Nine Nine & Dads....I love to longboard! Landyachtz Tomahawk....Sorry it's so long! Just getting out some things I think people should know about me. Anyways, people can follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr. All of my handles are the same @ denbrizel....Thanks for taking the time to stop by and feel free to message me I love talking to new people.

DenBriZel's last visitors

xI3eNSoMysticKayayteailickcowsthe_rude_dudedoglover100tifduncMisterCrossAlexaWuzHereTheElBurrrito

DenBriZel's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of DenBriZel's badges

DenBriZel's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (4410)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43872) - you deserved it (2847)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53350) - you deserved it (4807)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41126) - you deserved it (8904)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (25544)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54986) - you deserved it (4672)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42999) - you deserved it (3269)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51311) - you deserved it (15831)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53091) - you deserved it (18214)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (5707)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (6388)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48341) - you deserved it (57920)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: