Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DenBriZel

Search for a member

DenBriZel
  • Town/Country : Longview Washington, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1098
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About DenBriZel : Hey my name is Denee!
I'm the proud mother of a beautiful girl, Zelda...I love music! I like anywhere from Bon Jovi and Toby Keith to Skrillex, Pitbull, Adam Lambert, Katy Perry, & even some JB songs. I'm a huge Gamer, all sorts, mostly RPG, FPS, and racing. My favorite series are LoZ, Resident Evil, Uncharted, GTA, COD, Assassins Creed, Need For Speed, Mario. (and I obviously play LOTS of random games too) I have a weird fascination with apocalyptic games....I absolutely LOVE The Walking Dead. Definitely my favorite show! Other shows I love are Glee, The Big Bang Theory, NCIS, The Blacklist, At Midnight, Brooklyn Nine Nine & Dads....I love to longboard! Landyachtz Tomahawk....Sorry it's so long! Just getting out some things I think people should know about me. Anyways, people can follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr. All of my handles are the same @ denbrizel....Thanks for taking the time to stop by and feel free to message me I love talking to new people.

DenBriZel's last visitors

Kayayteailickcowsthe_rude_dudedoglover100tifduncMisterCrossAlexaWuzHereTheElBurrritoskyebooTheFirstHipster

DenBriZel's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of DenBriZel's badges

DenBriZel's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48384) - you deserved it (3890)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51978) - you deserved it (6864)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I played in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience and were brought to tears. Not because it was beautiful, but because they were sad to see how much the music program had declined since they left. FML

#20994103
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (3994)

On 12/15/2013 at 10:44pm - misc - by NotTalented - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45388) - you deserved it (6890)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (4864)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

#20971993
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm - misc - by squirts -

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (14846)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

#20958067
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35975) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (8306)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53856) - you deserved it (5096)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: