Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DenBriZel

Offline (the 07/10/2015 at 5:37am) | Search for a member

DenBriZel

25Fucked!

DenBriZelDenBriZel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 July 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7748
  • Number of comments : 280
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About DenBriZel : Hey my name is Denee!
I'm the proud mother of a beautiful girl, Zelda!......I love music! I like too many genres to name, however most of my favorite songs are either Rock, Pop, or rap/R&B.......I'm a HUGE Gamer! Currently obsessed with Destiny. I play on WiiU, XbOne, and PS4..but mostly PS4.......I absolutely LOVE The Walking Dead. Definitely my favorite show!......Other shows I love are Pretty Little Liars, Once Upon A Time, The Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds, At Midnight, and newly Scorpion. I also enjoy the anime One Piece and Naruto.......I love to longboard. Landyachtz Tomahawk!......Thanks for taking the time to stop by and feel free to message me, I love talking to new people!......People can follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr. All of my handles are the same @ denbrizel

DenBriZel's page activity

Visits<b>annabrandl</b> - yesterday at 10:33pm<b>JordanODST</b> - yesterday at 5:08pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:24pm<b>gunzerker</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:36pm<b>chloe24601</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:14am<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:11pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:19pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:44am<b>Countryboy1996</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:50am<b>15Erik</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:47am<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:17am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:31pm<b>stevethellama</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:39am<b>then000bster</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:13am

Fucked!<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:45am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:30pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:32am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:58pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:29pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:42am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:52pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 6:32am<b>lucyisbae</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 8:19am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:33am<b>critch</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:31pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:52am

DenBriZel's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of DenBriZel's badges

DenBriZel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (9501)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25105) - you deserved it (7104)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (32381)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38660) - you deserved it (2088)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (14203)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

#21374802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129) - you deserved it (4211)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:23am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (4786)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45030) - you deserved it (3400)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40554) - you deserved it (4192)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (13188)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: