Demonfish

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Demonfish

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3383
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Demonfish : I'm here to relieve boredom by laughing at other peoples humerous misfortunes, and occasionally offer condolences when the misfortune is depressing, which is basically what the rest of you are here for.
Generally I try not to take things too seriously, I prefer the place in between silliness and seriousness, so my comments may vary in sensibility, of you have a problem with that, I have but one thing to say to you: "tough shit."
In my as of yet relatively short life, I've been called many things: genius, idiot, insane, wise, wonderful, even beautiful, by one particularly deluded, and stunningly gorgeous girl. I also know a guy who is firmly convinced that I am the Antichrist... well, each to his own, I suppose.

Demonfish's page activity

Visits<b>InteresingMan</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:27pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:45am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:35am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:22pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:14am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:33am<b>vb68</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:31pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:20pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:34am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:49pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 1:19am<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SethFAX</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:37pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:20am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:13am

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Demonfish's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 8:05am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

by Lost / 09/15/2009 at 3:24pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

by lifeguardfuckup / 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

by wow / 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 2:46am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I colored my hair. It was supposed to turn out blonde, but it became more a mix of red and brown and blonde patches. When I tried coloring everything back, a green tint was added. My hair is at the moment red, brown, blonde and green. FML

by Fmyhair / 04/27/2009 at 2:39pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

by GotPunched / 04/11/2009 at 2:36am / Finland (Western Finland) / Love

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy