Demonfish

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Demonfish

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3856
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Demonfish : I'm here to relieve boredom by laughing at other peoples humerous misfortunes, and occasionally offer condolences when the misfortune is depressing, which is basically what the rest of you are here for.
Generally I try not to take things too seriously, I prefer the place in between silliness and seriousness, so my comments may vary in sensibility, of you have a problem with that, I have but one thing to say to you: "tough shit."
In my as of yet relatively short life, I've been called many things: genius, idiot, insane, wise, wonderful, even beautiful, by one particularly deluded, and stunningly gorgeous girl. I also know a guy who is firmly convinced that I am the Antichrist... well, each to his own, I suppose.

Demonfish's page activity

Visits<b>InteresingMan</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:27pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:45am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:35am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:22pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:14am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:33am<b>vb68</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:31pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:20pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:34am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:49pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 1:19am<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SethFAX</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:37pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:20am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:13am

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Demonfish's favorite FMLs

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML

by crutchy / 03/20/2011 at 11:03am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

by sylverster / 03/15/2011 at 8:37am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

by rhartnett11 / 02/16/2011 at 7:56am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

by Jaws / 02/10/2011 at 11:09am / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

by Dante / 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm / Health

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

by unemployable / 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

by Ashley Marshburn / 10/17/2010 at 9:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 12:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

by meowmeow / 09/21/2010 at 12:38am / Australia / Health

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation