DeathAngel2624

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Offline (the 06/03/2015 at 3:03am)

DeathAngel2624

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1533
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About DeathAngel2624 : Yea um im just here. I try to make ppl laugh so ya message me.

DeathAngel2624's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:40pm<b>CoolCookie210</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:15am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:22pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:40pm<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:23pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:33am<b>brook823</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:06am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:10am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:50am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:50am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:09pm<b>insainpyro</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 12:22am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:01pm<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:16am<b>ToriaButtcheek</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:58am<b>heyyoitskiraaa</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:57pm<b>bumhole420</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 7:34am

DeathAngel2624's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of DeathAngel2624's badges

DeathAngel2624's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

by IneedMaury / 06/16/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

by vivelawank / 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

by yes, yes it does :( / 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm / United States / Work

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

by fuck you, Jeff / 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

by Nose bleed / 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

by not a dumbass pothead / 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids