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DeadpoolTheta's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
by mustachio101 / 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by computerguy / 01/21/2011 at 8:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Geek
by walnutbladder / 01/07/2011 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Health
by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML
by solarecliptic / 12/08/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by nickyy / 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…