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DarksMoon

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DarksMoon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 81
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DarksMoon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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DarksMoon's favorite FMLs

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35706) - you deserved it (4102)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (3648)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (6722)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (13872)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (55023)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47288) - you deserved it (5528)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43700) - you deserved it (6109)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2640)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (24229)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112035) - you deserved it (4815)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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