About Dark_Stream : Obviously, I have too much time on my hands. But only for another 13 days.
Dark_Stream's FML badges
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Dark_Stream's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML
by Alice / 07/22/2009 at 12:03am / United States / Work
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, being a nurse's daughter, I got used to get rid of my pimples by the use of needles. I never… Today, a cockroach fell from my ceiling when I was getting in bed. This was 10PM when it happened.… Today, I bought some chocolate brownies for the first time in months. I hardly ever eat chocolate.…