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  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3357
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DarkSmoke591 : What's up?

Rock, metal, K-Pop (Kinda), working out, videogames, and martial arts are my thing.


DarkSmoke591's page activity

Visits<b>MidnaLover</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Dr_Manhattan</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:51am<b>pliskon_snake</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:57am<b>ValleyHockey12</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:54pm<b>fightyourtitle</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:48pm<b>cowboyspartan17</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 1:40pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 12:02am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:17am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:17am<b>Lilly_974</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:46am<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:54am<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>Bobegan</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:37pm<b>kleach1</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:33am<b>Rhiley12</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:29am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Etched</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:49am<b>MehNeckHurts</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:19pm

Fucked!<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:13pm<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:07am<b>Etched</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:20am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:53am<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:50am<b>makaramiracles</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 6:14am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:28am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:45am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:24pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:06pm<b>AlexBurn97</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:48pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:04pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:10pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:32pm<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:24pm

DarkSmoke591's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DarkSmoke591's badges

DarkSmoke591's favorite FMLs

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (2003)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (1794)

On 11/19/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by auto boogie man (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (8029)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12758) - you deserved it (26405)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (1704)

On 11/05/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21621) - you deserved it (6116)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm - intimacy - by sad-boing (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (1634)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (21554)

On 09/22/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33272) - you deserved it (4704)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (2347)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (2610)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26878) - you deserved it (2110)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML


I agree, your life sucks (26580) - you deserved it (3337)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29152) - you deserved it (5256)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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