DarkSmoke591

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DarkSmoke591

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DarkSmoke591DarkSmoke591
  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3919
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DarkSmoke591 : Hi, what's up?

I like listening to K-Pop, learning martial arts, and studying in my free time

Message me if you're interested in any of those 3 things above ;D

DarkSmoke591's page activity

Visits<b>jfreeman86</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:22am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:38pm<b>ryannstevenn</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:30pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 9:40pm<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 9:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:54pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:57pm<b>MyssTryss</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 6:57pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:55am<b>MaxTheNeko</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:59pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 7:17am<b>Jstick</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 11:03am<b>proudspanishgirl</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:41pm<b>serrentinoj</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 3:55pm<b>isabellam26</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 7:47pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 1:59am<b>JuliannVo</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 7:48pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:11am

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:59am<b>atinytoebean</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 8:26pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:05am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:13pm<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:07am<b>Etched</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:20am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:53am<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:50am<b>makaramiracles</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 6:14am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:28am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:45am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:24pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:06pm<b>AlexBurn97</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:48pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:04pm

DarkSmoke591's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of DarkSmoke591's badges

DarkSmoke591's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

by shit / 04/28/2016 at 7:05am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I guess my son's balls dropped. I've caught him humping his sister's Selena Gomez posters several times today. For god's sake. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Kids

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

by ShouldveStayedAVirgin / 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

by Lala / 12/08/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health