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DarkSatan5

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DarkSatan5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 261
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DarkSatan5's page activity

Visits<b>Kitten_xo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:48am<b>lordmaker</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 4:55pm

DarkSatan5's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of DarkSatan5's badges

DarkSatan5's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (55342)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (2802)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39213) - you deserved it (3919)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (2802)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

#7693215
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (13582)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:06am - money - by Sheggie (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (62702)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (62702)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75258) - you deserved it (5510)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53544) - you deserved it (14109)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

#3939096
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (5045)

On 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML

#2397904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38926) - you deserved it (4024)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52440) - you deserved it (4467)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

#1064641
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79514) - you deserved it (4409)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Safe - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248822) - you deserved it (32368)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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