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DarkJediLove

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DarkJediLove
  • Town/Country : Cruces, Unites States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 794
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DarkJediLove : Pretty much Forest Gumping my way through life. So if there is something you think you can add, please do say hi!

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DarkJediLove's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2844)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2844)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (39187)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8103) - you deserved it (27169)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50461) - you deserved it (6022)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (7250)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML

#16992661
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (2310)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:20pm - money - by Broguy - Canada

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11049) - you deserved it (48254)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (6548)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18552) - you deserved it (5875)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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