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Darian66

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Darian66
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 390
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Darian66's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Darian66's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84213) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (36216)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10294) - you deserved it (40013)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68461) - you deserved it (5427)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52856) - you deserved it (7093)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

#3419869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40979) - you deserved it (8259)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (72681)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (78248)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68325) - you deserved it (22514)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (13027)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (8377)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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