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Danielle92809's FML badges
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Danielle92809's favorite FMLs
by booty backfire / 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by ouchh / 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
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- Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my… Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died.… Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what…