About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.
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DanielT1994's favorite FMLs
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
by thepigeonsfriend / 05/07/2012 at 10:08am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 1:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
by rofindie / 05/07/2012 at 12:12am / United States (New York) / Money
by gutted / 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom / Love
by fock / 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by T3STI / 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
by billiams15 / 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Bridget / 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm / United Kingdom / Love
by flustered / 05/06/2012 at 10:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by geez_wth / 05/06/2012 at 7:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the… Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three… Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for…
- Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.…