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DandoisFLAT's favorite FMLs
Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML
by John / 11/15/2009 at 1:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
by a_B_c_D_e_F_g / 06/27/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my ex-girlfriend's number. She texted back, "One of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
by 1suckatL1fe / 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen for a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recieved free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML
by ZachooMackoo / 04/09/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he… Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had… Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the…