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DanShowsNoMercy's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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You've liked someone. How cute!
DanShowsNoMercy's favorite FMLs
by what / 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML
by anotherhuman / 11/30/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 11:52am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by sickened / 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love
by unlucky / 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm / United States (New York) / Kids
- Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She… Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning… Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited,…