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Dallasluver19's favorite FMLs
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night. So I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. Thats when he said, "you have lettuce in your teeth." FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2009 at 10:36am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
by gymbob / 05/06/2009 at 7:36am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
by motherdearest / 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
by eggs / 02/28/2009 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by red button / 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous