Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 60
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Dalistair's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Dalistair's badges

Dalistair's favorite FMLs

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40978) - you deserved it (3965)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (105122) - you deserved it (5311)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (104587) - you deserved it (16229)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML


I agree, your life sucks (106744) - you deserved it (26129)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: