DSaturn

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Offline (the 03/09/2016 at 11:07pm)

DSaturn

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 April 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 837
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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DSaturn's page activity

Visits<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 7:12am<b>bigwell</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:43pm<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:56pm<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 6:20am<b>Give_Up_On_lIFE</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:25pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 6:44pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:14pm<b>amc597</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:05pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:23pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Loveyou6611</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:17am<b>willis123</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:48pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:22am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:35pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:45pm<b>f36k</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 12:13pm

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:46pm

DSaturn's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DSaturn's badges

DSaturn's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

by Wellthisishawkward / 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

by vat / 02/25/2013 at 3:33am / Hong Kong / Love

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

by mariama / 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy