D4TSYUK13

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D4TSYUK13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5605
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About D4TSYUK13 :

D4TSYUK13's page activity

Visits<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 2:17am

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D4TSYUK13's favorite FMLs

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

by Catherine / 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

by facepalm / 06/06/2012 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

by ilovezim29 / 06/03/2012 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

by joanne / 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous