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D4TSYUK13

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D4TSYUK13
  • Town/Country : Minnesota, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 July 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D4TSYUK13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (7357)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (18620)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50467) - you deserved it (11400)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (10072)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43652) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (5517)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (9883)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (6288)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (3009)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (5398)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (4711)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36814) - you deserved it (8943)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (5345)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (5408)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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