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D33War12

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D33War12
  • Town/Country : Dallas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (53 years)
  • Number of visits : 1260
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

#16740090
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (4900)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (111390)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43515) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (9375)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (3773)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (14967)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

#15733743
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (8341)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35081) - you deserved it (4154)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

#14838369
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (5143)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (7385)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

#14409774
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (5691)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by legwarmer (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

#14399805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:45pm - love - by 3yrneveragainn -

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

#14310097
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46695) - you deserved it (6335)

On 12/23/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by unfortunategeek - United Kingdom

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (7437)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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