D33War12

Search for a member

D33War12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (55 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5199
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

D33War12's page activity

Visits<b>nela25</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>IpromiseImnotemo</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:21am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:30am<b>kittymeew</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:28pm<b>estefa20</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 8:41am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>catsaregreatmeow</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>LoveLiv</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:22am<b>GoGoRatchet</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:42am<b>Gaajan44</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:21am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:17pm<b>chellee_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 12:38am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:43am

D33War12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of D33War12's badges

D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

by beccabooyah / 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

by xattackattackx / 11/18/2011 at 4:01am / United States (Hawaii) / Health

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

by dunicha / 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

by SetoAyumi / 11/15/2011 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

by Cooper491 / 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

by why?! / 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

by b3ardown23 / 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

by vsf / 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

by stillAvirgin:( / 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy