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D33War12

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D33War12
  • Town/Country : Dallas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (53 years)
  • Number of visits : 1261
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML

#18337950
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (5485)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:30pm - love - by sigh - United States (California)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43440) - you deserved it (6837)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (6032)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37626) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (8223)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (10771)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

#18309913
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20475) - you deserved it (1914)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - love - by madison77 - United States

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

#18306908
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you deserved it (1959)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (2097)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (4887)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (3528)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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