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D33War12's favorite FMLs
by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by anon / 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by bgoodwin07 / 11/29/2011 at 8:31am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
by LadyDean / 11/29/2011 at 3:00am / United States (North Dakota) / Love
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by wow / 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML
by honor sucks / 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
by Rich / 11/26/2011 at 3:50pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous