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D33War12's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
by memoryloss / 12/04/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm / United States / Kids
Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm / United States / Kids
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML
by bad blood, no shit / 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by gtfb1993 / 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML
by Monday / 12/02/2011 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
by sometingwong / 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm / United States / Kids
by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy.… Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back,… Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I…