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D33War12

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D33War12
  • Town/Country : Dallas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (53 years)
  • Number of visits : 1276
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (15925)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

#18479529
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9269) - you deserved it (25864)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by nakedness (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (3612)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

#18479252
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2355)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm - love - by DJ - United States (Illinois)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19062) - you deserved it (15804)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (3298)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22247) - you deserved it (2000)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (68936)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

#18460196
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (3286)

On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11915) - you deserved it (39016)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (8881)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (2537)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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