Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

D33War12

Search for a member

D33War12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (54 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4329
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

D33War12's page activity

Visits<b>nela25</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>IpromiseImnotemo</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:21am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:30am<b>kittymeew</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:28pm<b>estefa20</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 8:41am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>catsaregreatmeow</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>LoveLiv</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:22am<b>GoGoRatchet</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:42am<b>Gaajan44</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:21am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:17pm<b>chellee_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 12:38am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:43am

D33War12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of D33War12's badges

D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12260) - you deserved it (30297)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (5473)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

#18553811
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (3066)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (2396)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9934) - you deserved it (58958)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (3566)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (5423)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38417) - you deserved it (6494)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

#18524767
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30141) - you deserved it (6033)

On 12/16/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML

#18522067
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (11859)

On 12/15/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by Ms. Heartless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

#18520794
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12613) - you deserved it (40404)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm - health - by ms piggy - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53986) - you deserved it (3285)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

#18487719
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (2271)

On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: